Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
