I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
its liver damage thursday
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
