So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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