I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
