oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
