Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
