Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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