Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
