My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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