All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
