I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
