I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
