Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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