sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
