You made me cry and you don't even care
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
