would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
