Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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