True but thats because hes a fetus.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
