some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm always down for nudity.
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