Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
