i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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