she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
