is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
