She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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