dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
