Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
