Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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