Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
