That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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