saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I know her cup size but not her name....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
