she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Randomize
