I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
