those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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