Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize