Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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