We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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