we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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