PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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