No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
