Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
