Cold hands, warm shart.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
