Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
True college students do jello shots in the library
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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