WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
