I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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