That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
