i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i used baking grease as lip gloss
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
