The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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