i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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