I just threw up on my dentist
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You pole danced in your parka.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
