SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
