Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize