once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
