Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
