wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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