I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
