I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
