Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
