i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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