im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
