lets start a swedish sibling band together
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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