Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
