Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
