I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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